Whether or not you are a mother, you probably had a mother and maybe still do. Was Mom the best mother in the world, or the worst? Or somewhere in between? Where ever she fits in in your mind, I hope you know that she did the best she could. If she was the best Mom, I hope you appreciate her for it. That’s a gift that not everyone has.
If you feel like she failed you in some ways, big or small , again, I hope you can see that she did the best she could. Even if it may not look like it to you.
As we get older, we (hopefully) gain a different (more mature) perspective about Mom. This can make forgiveness and appreciation a little easier.
There was a time when I was very critical of my Mom. She should have done this differently or that better. (Now I have a daughter who looks at me that way.) For one thing, I didn’t like that my mother smoked. It was a big issue for me. She ended up dying of lung cancer. After she got sick, I traded in my judgment and criticism for compassion. It would have been nice to be able to do that sooner.
As a mother, I know that we want to do the best we can for our children, what ever that means to us. But there are no clear rules or instructions. On the surface, it seems simple enough. Keep them fed and warm and clean and happy and oh, by the way, teach them about life and how to be good people. But wait, I’m still working out my own issues. They’re going to be watching me? and learning from and copying me? And judging me? Hold on, I didn’t realize that was part of the plan!
It would have been nice if there were more instructions! Well, as it turns out, each kid came with some information that I only recently learned about (about four years ago). Actually I came with my own as well, and now that I understand this, I can see how much easier things could have been if I had known this long ago.
Of course, I’m talking about the incredible blueprint in our hands. If I had understood my life purpose and life lesson that’s written in my fingerprints, I believe I would have been a better mother when my kids were younger. If I had understood what my daughter’s two hermit heart lines meant, I might have been more patient and understanding when she didn’t want to go to kindergarten. (She had her brother and her friend, AJ. She had no need for any more friends.) Or about why she insisted on doing everything herself even when she was three. (Hermits are very independent).
I wish I had seen my mother’s fingerprints before she left us, but I was just starting to learn about this when she was sick and I never got to find out what they said. I have some guesses, but I’ll never know for sure. If I understood my mother’s hands long ago, I would have been able to understand her better- her behaviors, her challenges and motivations, on a whole different level. This could have lead to better communication and a better relationship. Understanding this stuff can foster compassion where there might otherwise be judgment.
Knowing your children’s life purpose can help you guide them with their choices. Understanding their life lesson can help you recognize when they are being triggered by it and support them appropriately,and help them learn from it.
Understanding what’s in your own hands can help you be your best self, which will help you be a better parent because yes, they are watching you and learning from and copying you. It can also help you make parenting decisions more from a place of confidence and personal power instead of from fear triggered by your life lesson.
